Thursday, November 19, 2009

Feeling so much better today.

Hello everyone,
I appreciate those of you who have put up with my whining.

Today has been so much better. I feel better physically and mentally. Finally.

The tooth pain is gone and we may have found a way to have all of the dental work covered 100% except for a $15 co-pay each visit. This is awesome news. There is no way I could afford to have all that work done with out this.

As for my daughter, she is still using, but I have given her to God. I had to remember that when I was in her situation, God watched over me, protected me, and brought me out the other side with a great deal of wisdom to offer the people who are trying to get clean and sober today.

I have been VERY busy with last minute Avon sales and specials, trying to get my books out on the holiday schedule which doesn't allow much time to prepare them in order to get them out on time, but I have to admit, working with my kids in a mini production line preparing the mailing was alot of fun last night. It isn't often that I have both boys home at the same time, and even rarer that we are working together.

I finally felt well enough to get up and clean the kitchen myself today (I wish I could have done it blind-folded, it was that bad). Now, if I can manage to get my family to help me keep it that way at least for a few days, so I can spend a day on the living room, a day on the dining room, and a day on the bathroom. Mondays and Tuesdays are bedroom and laundry (when my husband has off)

Along with everything else, I was feeling pretty bad about myself as a parent. I felt as though I failed my kids. Until last night. When my oldest son came home last night, he came into my room to let me know that he was home. He wanted to talk. He will be 18 in January, and he graduates High School this year. He told me he knows that the social security he gets from his father will stop and instead of him moving out into his own apartment, would he be able to have the upstairs to himself like an efficiency apartment. He wants to pay us rent to help us so his little brother won't have to move again and also so he won't have to move out of this school district because it is a good one. Our upstairs has his bedroom, full bathroom and a large room that we planned on turning into a recreation room. Since the latter never happened, he said he will use that as his living room, and just have to use the kitchen. I told him of course he could stay as long as he wants, and not just for his money. Then he asked (sheepishly) if he could have a room mate. I said, that I was assuming it is his girlfriend. He said yeah. I told him as long as they keep it clean, and she would have to work as well, I have no problem with that.
This is when I realized that I raised a pretty good kids. My oldest daugter is doing very well, in her own apartment with her fiance and her 2 cats (her babies) my youngest has a sweet heart and soul. He is very gentle and timid. My other daughter is doing what she is doing, and I can't help her because she lives with her father. He is in denial of the situation and until we can work as a team to try to help her, she will continue. All in all, I felt much better about the job I have done as a parent.
I have my moments, but I know that God has been very good to me. I have 4 healthy, beautiful children, a roof over my head, and food and water. He always meets our needs.
Sometimes I forget to be greatful. But not today.

Soft Hugs to All
Laurie D.

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