Friday, December 25, 2009


Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Ramadan!

I Think that covers it. lol Please pardon my spelling.

This is a Merry Christmas. I finally broke down and got a USP modem rather than try to depend on my internal WIFI. I have not had a signal in a few weeks.

The kids had a good Christmas, not as many gifts in years past, but they are great and understand that finances are almost nil this year. They are just happy that they got the few items that they wanted most. They are also happy that last night we once again hosted the Christmas Novena. My husbands entire family celebrates the birth of Christ on December 24th. We have the traditional Polish feast of the fishes. NO meat! a lot of seafood, a lot of sweets and deserts.

We try to follow the old world Polish traditions as closely as possible. The first guest to walk through the door must be a man, preferably the oldest male of that family unit. We have the oplatki (communion wafer) blessed and the the Paternal or oldest male of the host family breaks off pieces and gives it to the males who are the head of each household unit, they in turn break off pieces of theirs and give it to their individual family member. When you hand them their's, you give them a Christmas wish. (Peace and health to you, etc.) Then a prayer is said and everyone puts the wafer in their mouths at the same time.

We had a very good time, we did a "Chinese auction" Pollyanna. It is so much fun. Everyone buys a $5 generic gift and wraps it. They all get put in a pile. Everyone gets a number and when your number is called you can take a gift from the pile, or if you someone who went before you has a gift that you really like you can steal it from them. Then that person has the option of stealing from someone else or taking a new gift from the pile. when the stealing starts and you get a bunch of people stealing in one round is when it gets really fun.

Despite the running around and pushing myself beyond what I usually do, we had a great night. The only thing that was sad for me was my 2 oldest, my daughters, didn't show up. My oldest is controlled by her boyfriend. He doesn't think we are good enough. He does everything he can to keep her away from us. He even makes her get off the phone if he comes in and we are talking. I wish she would stand up to him. They had to spend the entire night at is parents, even sleep there. You think  he would concede for Christmas and let her come to see us for a few hours. I hope she gets tired of it soon, but it doesn't look that way. My other daughter called and said she had 3 stops to make then she would be here. We waited, but she never showed up. I got worried and called her (she lives with her father) and her grandmother said she fell asleep and wouldn't wake her up. When my daughter called this morning she was so mad that they didn't wake her up. She said she will probably come home with us after dinner at my niece's house today and sleep over tonight. That will be really nice.

Well, it is time to start getting ready to go to my niece's for my family's Christmas dinner. This one is the biggie. About 25 of us and it is a formal sit down dinner (good china, gold ware, crystal, the works) It is nice though it has been like this in my family for as long as I can remember. First, open gifts, then dinner, then we play board games while the kids play with their gifts. Some people pass out from turkey coma as well. lol

I am so glad God blessed me with a week of not feeling too bad. He gave me the strength and the means to do all that I had to do and for that I am truly grateful.

Happy Holidays and
Soft Hugs to All
Laurie D.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

stretch marks!! NO!!!

I caot believe this. I have 4 children and have never had a stretch mark in my life! Now, because of the meds that cause weight gain I am getting stretch marks!! The one strange thing though, one site that the marks have recently shown up is very painful. Sore to touch, hurts when I move in a certain way. Is this normal? Has anyone else ever had this?

Other than that, I am still worried about my cat Puppy. She is sick again today. She gets bouts where she makes a low growling noise, almost like a moan, her stomach distends and then she has a discharge from her vulva. It is a good sign that she is still discharging, but I hate to see her this way. I have an organization in Delaware who is trying to find a vet who will do the surgery at a reduced cost or accept the low cost certificate that I have for a regular spay and accept that for the full hysterectomy. I hope she holds out until January. I just don't have the money to pay for the surgery right now.

I don't have money for christmas. The stress and depression of this has put me in a fibro flare. Something has to give soon. I need a miracle.l

Soft hugs to all
Laurie D.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Rough Week.

I was going to try to take the challenge of posting something everyday, but it has been a rough week. I posted before that I have "Job Syndrome" lol. Well, the devil had fun messing with me this week.

First,I picked up my husbands prescriptions, the next day the pharmacy called and said I didn't pay for them. HUH? How did I not pay for them? I can barely walk, I have a cane, so anyone can tell that I couldn't climb over the counter, search through their files, find his prescriptions, put them in a bag, climb back over the counter and RUN off! I went in to find out what was going on (I also had to pick up one of my prescriptions.) Apparently, the woman at the register forgot to press "1" button to charge the purchase to my debit card. Next, I asked for my prescription and the pharmacist informed me that my insurance would not cover it. They sent a message that my insurance had been cancelled as of 11/30/09. Again, Huh?

I called Mediare, there was no problem there, they said Keystone65 dropped me. I called them, at first, they could find no reason for it being dropped, they would look into it and call me back. 2 days later I called them back. They said that I no longer had medicare part B. when I told them I already talked to medicare and I DO have part B, they filed a grievance for me, but could not tell me how long that will take to be resolved. In the meantime I have an automatic prescription delivery due in 4 days, I have no insurance and the meds cost $125.00 that I don't have.

Then, I think I posted before that one of my cats had been sick. I finally got a vet to see her as an emergency and I had a coupon for a free health exam and they let me use that to bring her in. She has a uterine infection called Pyometra. Her uterus is filled with puss. Right now, the cervix and the vulva are still open and she is draining the puss, but eventually they will close and her body will try to filter the infection through her kidneys and they will shut down. I have 3 options and all three of them were followed with the words, Most likely, probably and will. not survive. I left there crying like a baby. My cats are like my children to me. And this one especially. No matter where I am, she is with me. She follows me everywhere. She even follows me into the bathroom and drives me crazy until I let her come up and sit on my lap. That's how attached she is to me.
I have been calling around, and most vets want $1,000.00 to do the surgery. So far I found a vet that will charge me $250.00 and an organization that has vets who work with them to help people who cannot afford to spay their cats and they are trying to find one who will help me with this surgery. So PLEASE pray for my cat "Puppy".

Today, we ran out of Oil, and we had no money in the bank. I was going to pay my water bill (I have a shut off notice) but we had to use the money to get oil and we have to post date a check and they will cancel the shut off.

20 days left until christmas and I haven't even gotten 1 present for my kids yet. Things just keep happening that are costing and arm and a leg and we don't have the money. I have been so upset and depressed. That is probably why I have migraines, pain and feel tired and sick all the time.

I had a problem with my last Avon order, my son almost had a car accident last night and came home white as a ghost and shaking, the car insurance, car payment and rent are all due and that's  just a part of it.

I don't know what we are going to do, or how we are going to give my kids (especially my 11 year old) Christmas this year. The older ones understand, he says he does, but I don't think he fully grasps it. He keeps having dreams that he wakes up on Christmas morning and there is nothing under the tree and the dreams really upset him.

Please, Please, Please, pray for a miracle for my family.

Soft Hugs to All
Laurie D.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

The Miracle Prayer

My mother-in-law recently gave me this prayer, written on a piece of paper. I keep it on my nightstand, and almost everytime I go into my bedroom I take a few minutes to recite this prayer. I say it quite often during the course of a day. Hopefully you will print this and do the same. You will certainly feel the presence of Christ in and around you.

The Miracle Prayer.

Lord Jesus, I come before you just as I am. I am sorry for my sins. I repent of my sins. Please forgive me.
In your name, I forgive all others for what they have done against me.
I renounce Satan, the evil spirits, and all their works.
I give you my entire self, Lord Jesus, now and forever. I invite you into my life.
Jesus, I accept you as my Lord God and Savior. Heal me, strengthen me, in body, soul and spirit.
Come Lord Jesus, cover me with your precious blood and fill me with your Holy Spirit.
I love you Lord Jesus, I praise you and thank you. Jesus, I shall follow you every day of my life.

Mary, my mother, queen of peace, all the angels and saints, please help me, pray with me and for me.

Say this prayer faithfully, no matter how you feel. When you come to the point where you mean each word with all your heart, something good, spiritually, will happen to you. You will experience Jesus and he will change your whole life.

I had a co-worker who is a ministers wife. She knows how one thing after another, things beyond my control, keep happening in my life. (not good things). She says I have "Job Syndrome". She used to tell me that she can't figure out how, with everything that keeps happening, I keep my faith strong. She said that as a ministers wife, she should have much stronger faith, but her faith was no where near what mine is. I told her it isn't always easy, as a matter of fact it can be very hard at times. But as long as I remember that God doesn't give me more than I can handle, I will be OK. (In the words of Mother Theresa of Calcuta, "I just wish he didn't trust me so much"). And besides, I know how the book of Job ends.

I may grumble and groan about the things that go on in my  life. But, as a member of a 12 step program, we are taught to get everything out. If we think of each thing that happens in our life as a stone, some things are small like pebbles, somethings are very big like boulders, and then all the in between. If we put each one in a sack and carry it around, pretty soon the load becomes too much to bear. But, if you share your problems, write them down, talk about them and just get them out there, your load becomes lighter. Not because the problems have gone away, but because you shared the load for someone to help you carry it. The more people you have in your life who are willing to help you carry your stones the better.

Soft Hugs to All
Laurie D.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I'm the reason...I'm the evil demon!

I'm the reason...I'm the evil demon!

Hello. Let me introduce myself my name is FM aka Fibromyalgia.
I reside in the muscles, joints and brain of your loved one.
I can make them miserable with pain. I attack at any time all over and different parts of their body.

No one knows where or when I will show up next.
I might feel like a sharp hot poker, sunburn from the inside out,
or maybe a twitch and other times I can hit with such force I can stop them in their tracks.

Your loved one might be talking to you and suddenly
will not be able to find a word they would normally be able to come up with.
They may feel frustrated and embarassed it's such a scary feeling to think your losing your mind.

Don't think because you can't see me that I am not there.
I'm always here. I'm the reason plans may get cancelled without notice.
I'm the reason your loved one might need time alone to cry and then
other times need to be engulfed in your love .

I'm the reason they might seem fine one minute and in terrible pain the next.
I'm the reason they might shoot out of bed in the middle of the night in pain.
Your loved one will wake up in the mornings and sometimes can't get out of bed.
They will have little energy fairly often and not be able to complete simple everyday tasks.

The thing is your not able to get rid of me just yet.
But until that day comes I will continue to live in your loved one
and keep all of my promises.

Love FB aka Fibromyalgia.

What do you think of the face lift?

OK, I am starting to get somewhere thanks to the help of my blog friend "Alice". Thank you very much.
I still would like to add two elements to my page. I would like to add a pic of a purple ribbon, it is the symbol for Fibromyalgia Awareness. If I can get a purple ribbon that says that, even better.

I would also like to add a pic or a symbol that displays my Christian beliefs. I was a bit bothered by the fact that when I was looking through the different gadgets that are available through blogger and google. There were gadgets titled "deviant photos", Virtual Stripper" and quotes by people who I feel are not exactly going to talk about christianity. It took me forever just to find the "Inspirational quotes" gadget again. I just goes to show what the world has become.

Anyway, in the meantime, if anyone can tell me how to add a pic that is not an option of the pre-programmed gadgets, I would appreciate.

Now, I have been holding on to something that I have wanted to post, but needed to wait until my blog was worked out.
Soft Hugs to All
Laurie D.


Please pardon my appearance, during renovations!